I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
