weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
