he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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