I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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