she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
