it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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