If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
