Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
