Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
