kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
