i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
