I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
