Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
