Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
