Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
