Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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