i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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