i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
