Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
