Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
