I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
