i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
