just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
