You can't motorboat a personality
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The adults are the big ones right?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
