One girl and one boy is just not enough.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
