it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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