And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
