Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
