That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
