I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
