did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize