She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
