that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
