We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I have aggressive nipples.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
