I wanna passion pit in your ass
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
