you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
