OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
