Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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