in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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