I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
