1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
