That's when you crack a 10am beer
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
