I feel great
I just peed on a car
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He's on the porch naked. Help.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
