ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
