I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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