Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
