I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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