clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
