No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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