Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
