I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
