I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
