nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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