yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
