No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
