Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you traded sex for a burrito?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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